Depression Awareness - Flatline

Hi Goddesses

I've talked about my depression before on this blog, and my pieces on post-natal depression are still some of the writing I'm most proud of.   I wanted to honour Depression Awareness month, and it took me a little while to work out how I wanted to do it.  Eventually I've settled on this - a series of manis that highlight different aspects of depression.

Now, 2 disclaimers before we start.  Firstly, I passionately believe that any mental illness should be openly discussed.  It is not a crime to suffer from depression, nor should you feel ashamed.  That's my number one driver - to say to everybody else touched with this hideousness - YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

Secondly, these manis reflect MY experience, because that's the only one I can talk about.  So whilst they are all true to me, not all of them will resonate with other suffers, just as some of your symptoms may mercifully not be on my list.  But key to everything is this - YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

I'm starting today with Flatline.  Depression is a supremely isolating illness, and one that leaves you unable to connect with those around you.  Look at them - they would be the red nails - look, they're full of life, passion, vitality.  Look at their crazy excited heartbeat.  They are ALIVE.

And then look at you, in the middle.  A flatline, emotionally dead, unable to respond, react or emote.

I'm going to talk more about this numbness in another post, but it's important to remember that to the rest of the world, we can seem functional.  We get up, we do our job, we deliver - we just don't feel connected, or plugged in, or alive.

For me, mostly, my depression is under control.   I take medication, and again, I feel no shame in that, but every now and then it does flare up.  I have quite robust self-programming - believing I am awesome and destined for success in most things - but that has taken a battering this week with the Work Week from Hell.   So, how did that manifest?  With me retreating, functioning, but not really participating in life.

I flatlined.  Did you ?  If you did, that's ok.  Just remember, YOU ARE NOT ALONE xxxx

31 Day Challenge - Day 1 - RED

Hi Goddesses

There have been many times in my life when my sanity has been called into question.  Hell, for most of the people who know me, it's now accepted that it's pretty much AWOL.

So today started with me wishing everybody doing the 31 Day Challenge luck and saying I would be watching "smugly" from the sidelines.  Why "smugly" ?  Well, the 31 DCs are hard - VERY hard - they are relentless in terms of the timing and pacing, so I was content to stay on the outside, looking in, and laughing as they attempted THIS -

8 hours later, here I am posting my Day 1 nails lol.  How did THAT happen !!  Ha ha.  Well, other than blaming my missing marbles, I know quite a lot of the people doing it, and it's always more fun when that happens, when you're part of something bigger.  ALSO, as we well know, I have a vault of manis the size of Texas, and a quick flick through it showed me I already had the photos for 13 of the days.  So, that and a bit of peer pressure, and I was in!  Lol.

It's a shame that it starts with red .... for no other reason than that I did Red Week all of 3 weeks ago, so all of my red ideas are pretty much used up.  Luckily, I already had a date planned with OPI Danke-Shiny Red so all I had to do was move it forward some :)

Danke-Shiny Red is gorgeous.  It's rich, electric and full of vigour, but ..... it's also the dupe of Zoya's Elisa.  Why does this keep happening ?  Remember the similarities between the Holland Collex and Zoya, and now the same again.  Do they both sit in a room together and agree 3 colours per season they're going to dupe and then agree lower terms for that colour pigment from the supplier?   Don't get me wrong, I believe in happenstance, I just usually don't expect it to be within 1 degree of another colour.

So, a couple of week's ago, I would have RAVED about this polish, but as I've already worn Elisa .... well, I'm a bit deja vu'd out.  But it IS shiny.  And lovely.  And electric.  And maybe I prefer it to the Zoya because it applied sooooo smoothly.  Still, they're dupes.

So, I decided to do something else.  I fell in love with THIS mani Cris from Let Them Have Polish did a couple of weeks ago, and I've been itching to do a variation of it since.  There's something so decadent and debauched about it, I just love it.

So I did my own version.  The gold stamping is with BM-310 and Barry M Gold Foil.  My plan then was to dot clear polish where the gold lines intersected and dip them in the caviar .... nooooooo, that did not work.   

Phase 2: hide the fact that this did not work by covering ENITRE index nail with caviar, thus hiding the fails and the bits where the stamping lifted off !

Phase 3 : shit, what am I going to do with the other nails now that THAT plan didn't work?!  Cris used beads.  Shit, shitloads of beads.  Crumpet not patient = nooooooo.   So I dotted.  With black polish.  Oh well.

So there you have it, if you ever need to know how the woefully untalented copy a top bloggers pattern - there ya go!

Lol .... see you tomorrow.  And the next day.  Oh and the next day .... 

Enjoy xx :)