Hi my lovelies
Transitioning this blog from nails to something else is ... interesting. Good interesting - loads of great new topics to write about - not-so-good interesting - a lack of interaction.
The world has changed since I blogged at least once a day (sometimes twice or more - crazy times). I remember blogging and moaning with my fellow bloggers about the lack of comments, how everyone had become 1-click happy and just wanted to "like" posts and photos. This time around, there aren't any pretty pictures, so I'm not even getting likes lol.
Of course my readership numbers have gone down. People who joined for a sexy polka-dot aren't necessarily going to stay around for a meander through mental health, but I've been surprised just how low the numbers are, and especially the lack of interaction through Twitter (I thought everyone did Twitter, maybe I'm wrong).
In the old days I obsessed about my numbers, but I am finally more relaxed this time around, although it did pinch slightly this week when my Facebook likes fell below 10k for the first time in years. When you don't blog, it's easy to maintain your numbers, because people forget they were following you (no one really goes and declutters the pages they like) - when you start to blog again and they don't like the story, of course they're going to Unlike, and hey, I've done that lots myself.
The problem, if it is a problem, is that I feel I have a lot to say. I feel I have a voice. And I want to be heard because I think I can help a lot of people, whether through mental health or just a good old chuckle, but finding a new audience is tough. I'm oh-so-grateful to the followers who always loved my writing and are still following me, but how to connect with different people who might need to hear that voice in the dark?
I'm going to be honest. I thought a few hashtags would do it. Stick a #mentalhealth here and a #leadership there, maybe @a-famous-person and boom! they would come! The @a-famous-person would retweet me and their thousands of followers would flock to me like bees to blooms ... but no, lol.
So does it matter? Well at the moment, not massively. I'm enjoying writing, and knowing I am connecting with a few people is enough. But how long will this sustain me? If I'm writing, and no one's reading, doesn't that suggest that what I'm writing is shite, or of no interest? And if I am of no interest, why blog? Why spend time writing and putting emotion and energy into something that will never be seen or FELT?
Well, in my head, someone at some point is going to stumble over my blog and turn it into a book or a new career lol but until then, it's ok. At the moment. I caveat that because I can be fickle, and lose interest, and I don't want to this time. My head is still full of the lovely Rachael Hodges who recently died from cancer whilst writing a book for her son. Now, I'm not suggesting that's why I'm writing this blog, but I like that Beth will one day be able to look back at the pieces of me, and understand how I fitted together.
More than anything though, I love to write AND it's cathartic. Writing about post natal depression and The Cry was like an outpouring - and a really cleansing one at that. I think I've said before, writing is the only thing that takes me out of time and out of myself. It's the only thing that stops me eating lol. I have issues I want to explore within myself, and writing them on a blog might help more people than if I just jot them down in a notebook.
So for now, I write and I blog, and if you read, I thank you. If it helps you, I'm grateful, and hey, if you want to invite all your friends along for the ride, I don't mind lol.
